Friday, June 17, 2011
The first three months
The first three months of my pregnancy incredibly enough were like any other day. I was blessed to never have felt any of the typical symptoms of pregnancy which is why a lot of the time I temporarily forgot I was pregnant. I had tons of energy, no nausea, no moodiness, no vomiting, no pain, not much weight gain or body changes but the total and complete opposite. Of course no drinking alcohol, very small amounts of caffeine, lots of fruits, no spicy food, goats milk, no lifting heavy things, pre-natal vitamins and overall healthy living. Even after my first sonogram where you get to see the first glimpse of life (which is insane) with the little heart beating shown by a flash of light going in an out, it was still very surreal.
Around this time I was beginning to have all kinds of crazy thoughts and feelings. On one hand I was feeling a bit paranoid since my very old and old school OBGYN insisted on my high risk of miscarriage because of my age on the first three months and on the other hand the idea of being pregnant freaked me out beyond belief and I felt so wrong for feeling that way. I think there are three types of reactions to this news from women: 1) is immediate joy 2) is first insanity, insecurity, and then joy 3) all of these at the same time. I am here to tell you that either reaction is completely normal so do not beat your self up for any feelings that come up. IT'S A HUGE DEAL. Of course you are going to have a huge reaction to it.
I do believe that having a close, loving group of friends and family is very important during this time so you can release all of your mind junk out for clarity. I will be for ever grateful to Marisol & Ursula for listening to my craziness during that time since they both have kids and they each guided me out of my madness with many loving conversations. I will also like to thank Monique and Inna for listening to me without judgement. Thank God(dess) for great friends.
I would also like to note that signing up to Baby Center and receiving an e-mail about how my baby and body is changing is what worked best for me. I purchased many books and I attempted to read them to get informed however as soon as I read something negative, I closed the book and put it away.
There was a time where woman just had babies and trusted their bodies fully to take them thru the process. That is what I am attempting to do. So far it has worked fantastic!